Today we finally convened the performance review board.

All my time recently has gone into preparing for it. Now I'm pretty beat, and irritated, and relieved, and exonerated, and have had my perceptions all shook up, in a good way, and am sick of the whole thing at this moment, to be honest.


If you've ever wondered what it felt like to have been an accused witch in Inquisition Spain, try being an unapologetically un-soignee vaguely maternal thick and dark woman in a room full of female Corporate Godzillas and Hipster Sharks looking for some yielding victim to throw under a bus to erase their collective mistake.




Short answer - Try and drown me, and I bob like a cork. Ask me your questions, and I use it like an asagai.

This was all so stupid and unnecessary.

I was right behind a big accident on my way in to the meeting - I actually was asked by a slowing patrol car what I saw of what happened - and it helped me put things into perspective.

I still don't feel like blogging.


Jarred perceptions. As I said.

So I took a little look around at what other people are asking today.


What are other Americans asking today?



"Are some Americans maybe secretly afraid that all black people are as angry as the old radical ones?"



Isn't one of the things you are paying for when you buy a so-called 'pro'their implied discretion???

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but in my day, sex workers were all about code of silence, pleasing the customer and going the fuck away when you're done.

(Oh, and I think it's awful that amoral climbers in bed with politicians should be able to profit from their crimes. Let Rummy and Chalabi and Cheney speak for free or go pound sand.)


But these are Big Questions.



When bloggers talk, the questions are more macro, and, usually, just as perception-shaking.

But today, I found all too many just like these -

Will we ever recover our lost self-righteous self-image after seven years of Bush?


and,

Am I making a mistake not sharing my knowlege about fine wines with my children?


Yes. Because it's all about how we'd like to think of ourselves.


All the people who are asking these kind of questions make me jealous.


Because the only one that keeps going through my mind is, what will we tell our younger generation, not to mention our bees, bats, and salmon, when they ask, what were you doing during those seven or eight years, to undo the damage?