Dear Misguided Fan Who Thinks I'm that Writer on Best of Craigslist,

Thank you for writing. I don't believe for a nanosecond that you are 'one fourth Cherokee' because I know a lot of skins and not one of them would mention that in an introduction. It's not relevant, for one thing, and we would expect each other to just know.

It doesn't make me like you any better, either. That's crazy and stupid. Hey, I'm happy for you that your mother chose to celebrate your totally unique and illustrious one-quarter-Cherokee heritage by naming you 'Cody' ("short for Dakota"). Nice. You get a whole tribe to be named after. And 'it ain't even your tribe' as Thomas Builds-the-Fire said (yes, this exact sitch has been a cultural cliche for a decade at least). It's also the nickname of a famous Indian Culture-Vulture. So far we're off to a good start.

Thank you for telling me you think my photos are brilliant but that I need photoshop. Now I need a hell of a lot - moral certainty, social skills, confidence in my judgement, more concentration when I'm balancing my checkbook - but fixing up the way I look in candid pictures so that people I will never meet might not think I look 'fuckable' isn't even one of those things.

You sounded very white to me, in fact ;even before you went off on me on your distaste for Stuff White People Like. White dudes are all about how women look, and make them look. Does she make me look smart, hip, rich, secure, exotic, freaky? Does she look fuckable? If you really were as 'culturally diverse' as you say you are, like, for instance the young Spaniard cruising me right now, or my Transylvanian-Gypsy husband, you would know which women ARE fuckable and go win yourself one, hopefully becoming less of a tiresome and self-involved ass in the process, and get over this obsession with How Things Look.

I'm not a Thing and I don't care how desirable I look to some metrosexual dude who thinks he knows everything. I just like to take pictures. Pictures are like dance to me - a way to express the mess inside my head and clogging my throat when I can't scream and words won't do. If you feel it, fine. If you don't, move along. I don't need to be compared even favorably to either Dooce or Raymi (with whom I didn't realize I was competing....is my face red). This isn't a full-service blog. I'm not a brand promoting myself on the track to a career as a 'personality'. This is a blog. I do it like brushing my teeth or practicing a Turkish Drop. It orders my thoughts and makes the world seem more real and more accepting of my place in it.

I can't make you famous. I don't know where you got such a stupid idea. The time for internet fame was before Buzznet went totally to pop culture, before MySpace became a joke and Tila Tequila an abnormal-psych footnote. Sure, there's Stuff White People Like and LolCats, but the great base of intelligent commenters who once made this little internet-world a salon and hookah lounge are gone. I treasure my few thoughtful readers. We know each other. I can't promise you attention if you want to link your needy blog here, and I can't stop you. But I suggest at this late date the best way to 'get good comments' is to make your own friends.


I passed along your note to a friend who really is an editor. Hey, I do what I can. She said, "OMG he's doing you. HOW EMBARASSING. He really thinks this is a good imitation of you and its a good way to flatter you. CREEPY". So. There it is.

Go back and read some books. Since you asked who most of 'my favorite bloggers' are,
they all have other things going on the outside and rarely respond to comments like the Raymis and the Tonys. Sorry. We're just not A-Listers. I'm pretty immune to conforming, or to being part of anyone's 'gang' and the other people I read are similar. We write when we feel like it. We comment when we have something to say, and sometimes not even then. We have other jobs, other outlets,real friends, and other ambitions. We have our happy memories of when blogs and bloggers were influential and original, and we have Radical Acceptance of what they personally are for us each now.
All that being equal, the one thing we all have in common is that we read books, not just LJ and MySpace entries. You might like this.

I'm out of time. Thanks for taking up my dance class time. You can't call me insensitve or selfish anymore.

Oh, and I know you're 'supposed to compliment each other's reviews' on Yelp. I don't give a shit. I've done the SocTech Fame thing, and it's not worth it anymore. That's just how my commenting-habit evolved. When something is deserving of praise, make the effort to let them know. Instead of leaving comments to bloggers, I go to real-life places and Yelp a review. I don't need to be Elite. I just like the outlet.


I unblocked you from my haloscan. You are welcome to read and comment here, but please don't ironically link another blog. You will damn sure never get 'famous' that way.


Anybody else really tired of this? Yeah, me too.


Good luck.